Iver is a light-gray-and-white Kobold with red eyes and tan face. He is wearing a red shoulder strap with a golden buckle and golden buttons, along with a red-and-black shoulder pad on his right shoulder and red-and-black pants in the style of yoroi hakama.
"I miss the way you would sleep on my bed even when I told you NO... I miss telling you NO and you ignoring me!"
"OH! I-I'm sorry, I didn't see you there! I was too deep in my AGONY... My dear Pants has gone missing! Sniff... She used to chew on my shoes, even when I told her no... She used to sleep on-"
"Sorry. As you can see, I'm absolutely WRECKED with despair... but if YOU could search for my darling on my behalf... that would warm my cold, sad heart..."
"Don't just stand there! Head into the snowstorm maze and look for her already, should could be STARVING! STARVING!!"
"MY BABY! PANTS!!! Ohh, I thought I'd never see you again!"
"No, Pants I swear I wasn't crying, I COMPLETELY kept my composure the whole time you were gone-"
"MY EYES AREN'T WET, it's, uh, dirt. I got some dirt in my eye looking for you. Oh, just say thank you to my new friend for bringing us back together, ok?"
“SHHHH... Come here, quick, but be quiet... I need your help with a SECRET SURPRISE for PANTS...”
“Excellent, because today is Pants’ birthday! Or, rather, well, the day I decided her birthday should be!!”
“I actually got her a ton of gifts already-a new bone to play with, a bed that’s even larger than mine...“
“...But unfortunately, no matter what I do, it seems all she REALLY wants is what I got her last time we celebrated her big day! She calls it ‘THE PANTS SPECIAL’...
“It’s an epic three-course meal made of all of Pants’ favorite foods! The trouble is, Pants has a bit of an, er... INTERESTING sense of taste.”
“I could barely stomach it when I made her the Special last time we celebrated, and I don’t think I can do it again... Will you help me?”
“GREAT! The ingredients you’re looking for are: dried serpent skin, coagulated bloodsap, and a loose organ of some kind. Any organ will do!”
“I warned you didn’t I?! Now go, thinking about The Pants Special is making me feel sick...”
“My WORD that’s disgusting. It’s PERFECT! Now, to complete ‘The Pants Special’, just place each item on Pants’ dinner plate one at a time! The order is VERY important! While you do that, I’ll be standing waaaay over here...”
“Oh man... Watching her eat that... I don’t feel so good... C’mon Iver, it’s making Pants happy, it’s making Pants happy...”
“Thank you so much for all you’ve done for Pants! She’s as happy as a gorged Blood Serpent, and it’s all thanks to you! Now give me some space...I might hurl...”
